holland 

.: 10th April 2003

It's munchie time!! Today we crossed the border into Holland. Home of all great cultural activities. Our service stop had great food, satay sticks and sausage rolls (invented in Holland). We had not seen these at previous stops. It was then on our way to a cheese and clog demo. All I can say is that Clog Boy was hot! (Does anyone have a good photo of him?) Bought some crappy souvenir clog stuff to give to people and also got to taste some Dutch cheese and wine. After everyone had taken the compulsory photo of them in the giant clog outside it was then onto Edam for a bike ride. I had a headache and joined a few others in piking. Calista and I went shopping instead. We found a shop that had a much bigger range of souvenirs at cheaper prices than the Clog shop. I bought two 2 ceramic Delft shot glasses. I think they are shotties anyway, and a cute little windmill snow globe. We then went and checked out the deli shops along the canal. In the first shop I found a bottle of clothes freshener spray! Oh saviour!! I was so happy. Then I got some prawn crackers and lychee juice. Typical Dutch. Next shop down was a cheese shop followed by a chocolate shop. Nothing was better than finding that clothes spray though. We then went back to the bike place and flaked out on the couches upstairs with the others.

Once the others returned from their bike ride we went back to the bus. On the way we saw this guy working on a boat on the Canal, and, get this, he had a Contiki jumper on!! With Edam being a non Contiki specific area, we found this pretty weird.

Next stop was a visit to a diamond factory in Amsterdam. It was pretty crap. I don't know why we went there. Most of us just went straight through and hung around at the exit simply because there were free drinks and it was warm. But this was our last stop for the day and we could now finally go to the Hostel. Whilst we had been at the diamond place, GT had taken the bus somewhere and loaded all our luggage onto a truck to take to the Hostel and the bus was too big for the narrow roads in the area. We were dropped around the corner but luckily no big bags to carry.

The rooms weren't that bad. They had their own shower and toilet which I thought was fine. I was to be rooming with Fi, Jenny and Angie that night. 

We went downstairs to the bar (as you do) and the Cookies and Dishies were read off. I had not been called for this chore the entire time and since Dave had started repeating peoples names in Switzerland I thought I was in the all clear. But no, Dave's next words were "You thought you got away with it but Shelly you are a Cookie". Oh well can't complain, least I did not have to do it while I was sick. Luckily we didn't not have to go early to breakfast or dinner as the groups who were before us always set up the next one. That night we had ribs, chicken, fries and salad. Dan and Philip piled 2 or 3 plates high with ribs and chicken and sat down at the table behind me. Everyone just stared at them in awe. Rachel said they were disgusting and I think a lot of people that saw it felt the same. Thing was they actually finished it all!

After dinner I set to my Cookie chores. Ben and I were doing a really good job (too many years in hospitality) and as we were both fast and efficient, the reps let us go early and ooh gave us a lolly hehe. 

That night Dave and GT took us to the red light district of Amsterdam. It started off pretty tame. The odd sex shop here and there, then we went past a few windows with the girls in them. Next thing we are being led down a very narrow, dark, seedy alley lined with pimps and other dodgy people. I'd heard stories about how the seedy people go for the people at the back of groups. I was at the back. Immaturity set in further up the line and the girls decided that everyone had to hold someones hand just like in Primary School. So there we are, a group of 50 walking through this creepy laneway in the Red Light District and we are all holding hands and giggling like kids. Dave then took us through a brothel. It was like a museum. It was really a squared corridor lined with booths of girls in them. We walked around having a good look albeit at a fast pace and then came out the way we came in. 

With the orientation tour over it was time for some cultural entertainment. It was Casa Rossa time!!! We headed for one of the main canals and it was obvious when we had arrived when we stopped outside a place with a phallic marble fountain out the front, complete with water rotated balls. As we walked in we were given what looked like a pack of matches. Well that's what the guys got. The girls however received a condom. We went inside an found we had an area specifically designated for Contiki. We ordered the first of our two free drinks and the show began.

First act had a jungle theme. (I had already started giggling because I knew what was going to happen). A girl came out on stage and started some kinky dancing. She then asked for some male Contiki volunteers. Ben and Jon could not get up fast enough. After no one else got up for a while Greg eventually did. He wanted his birthday present. It was his 20th in 2 days. So all 3 are up on stage and the girl starts teaching them to dance one at a time.  This alone was hilarious enough and the look on Jon's face was a classic. She then starts a Conga line with Greg on the end. When they pass the side of the stage a guy dressed as a Gorilla (with a dildo attached to him) comes out and joins the end. He then starts humping Greg who got into the spirit of things ;) The girl then brings out a banana and strips down completely. She holds the banana between her legs and then invites the guys to take a bite each. Jon and Ben each go and take a bite (Jon later confesses he would have eaten the whole thing if the other guys weren't there). Then it was Greg's turn. As he was the last there was still a lot of banana left so when he took a bite the girl grabbed his head and pushed him down. Happy Birthday Greg! They then got off the stage and the Gorilla starts talking dirty to the Contiki girls near the front of the stage. He then starts pretending to have a wank and then sprays water over us all (water came out of the dildo, I think it was water). That was the end of Act 1.

Act 2 was a live sex show with a guy and girl going for it. Matt L, who was sitting next to me commented that the girl's boobs were fake, I agreed adding that they'd botched up the nipples. Apparently they didn't really do it for him. 

Act 3 was just some girl dancing around to music getting her kit off. Pretty boring really.

Act 4 was another live sex show. This one was slightly better than the other. I think these two were a couple as they were kissing on the lips whereas the others didn't. Even in a moment of pure porn tackiness when part of the stage rose and rotated, it still wasn't very exciting. 

Act 5 was specifically designed for Baby Matt. The banana girl came on again but this time dressed in a skin tight overcoat with a huge hood and sickle, making her look like a sexy version of the Grim Reaper. She starts dancing around to Metallica and takes off the coat to reveal a spider web type lingerie piece. Dances around some more then takes that off, brings out a mat with a pentagram on it, lights a candle, sticks it up her and rolls around on the rotating stage trying not to get herself burnt. She was actually the best of out the lot. Heaps of enthusiasm.

The last act was the best, funniest and certainly a highlight of the tour. A big black guy in a cop uniform struts in from the back of the room. It was the girls turn. The spotlight appeared and landed on Angie who was sitting in front of me. Scared the crap out of me as for a second I thought it was me. After a bit of prodding she got up. Next the spotlight went for Fiona who was mortified. At first she refused to get up but we all egged her on and eventually she did. So up they both went on stage and one at a time took their turns at dancing with 'Mighty Mike'. He then asked her to remove various pieces of his clothing. Angie appeared to care but you could tell she was in her element. She would even go up to the front of the stage whilst it was Fi's turn, just so she could crouch down, posing, and give Dave and GT, who were up the back, evils as she blamed them for her getting picked. They of course denied this.

Mighty Mike then picked her up so her legs were around his waist and then started bouncing her around and pretending to have his way with her. Next, oh by the way, he was pretty much naked by this stage except for some tight boxers. So next he brings out a bottle of cream and squirts it all over his chest and gets Ang to rub it in. Somewhere along the line he had lost his boxers and now only had a g-string on. It was Fi's turn. He squirted the cream on his ass and made her rub it in too. Then finally right at the end he got Fi to take his g-string off. Lets just say Mighty Mike wasn't so mighty. So that was the end of the show. We filed out past all the seedy guys who were left in the audience. Out on the street it was pretty dark. There were also a lot more people around and a lot more windows open. After walking along for a while I realised half the group was missing. (Found out why later). We walked back through the red light district and every so often I'd get a whiff of hippie food. We got back to where we had first been dropped off and had about 20 mins before the bus was going to pick us up again. I went and had a look in a souvenir shop and bought myself an ashtray. The girl at the counter overcharged me by €2, when I went back I noticed a spot of white powder just above her top lip.

Back at the Hostel it was party time!! Down to the bar for drinks. Whoever was DJing was shit, but at one stage he strung a few good songs together and I went psycho dancing. Chemical Brothers and Beastie Boys came on, I got a bit excited and Claire and I started singing to it. I realised some of the people in the group were veeeery drunk. I was then told they had been visiting the Coffeeshops. It explained a lot. Tom, Matt B and Anthony were completely fucked. Tom and Anthony had these silly grins on their face all night and Matt B kept on wanting to dance Irish Jigs and arm wrestle Shaughn. Baby Matt may also have been involved that night as we found him passed out on the couch (damn that couch was comfy). Katie and I would wake him up every so often and tell him to go to bed. He'd just say "Yeah in a minute" and go back to sleep. Just after 2.30am I decided to call it a night and went to sleep.  Mmmm sleep.

.: 11th April 2003