Russian Revelations

 

 

 

Estonia

Tallinn, Estonia - Sunday 24 June 2007

Woke up at 2am, laid in bed for another 1 1/2 hours before getting up and checking out of my hostel in London. Dragged my luggage down 5 flights of stairs as they had turned the lift off overnight. Bastards.

Outside it could have been 6pm for all the people that were about. I made my way into the next street that came off Piccadilly Circus and to my 'G' bus stop. An English guy started talking to me and my 'girl out late at night' instincts kicked in and I wondered how he'd try and mug me or something. I'm always a little suspicious of friendly Englishmen as they're not really known for their conversational skills on public transport, but I would soon learn they're like the Munchkins of Oz compared to the Russians I would come across later in my trip.

Turned out he was just chatty and I hopped on my bus without incident. Got off at Liverpool Station and waited around till 5.30am for my train to Stansted Airport.

Was expecting a huge line at check-in as is usual for all London airports, but was surprised when I found my line only had a few people in it. I was deviously tricked though when the girl checked me in, then said I'd have to take my luggage to another line as the conveyor belt was broken. So I joined the 100+ line of people dropping off their luggage at the oversized luggage stand. Fortunately the security line wasn't too bad and after a quick breakfast stop I was boarding my 2 hour flight to Estonia.

Arrived in Tallinn around 12.30pm and caught a taxi to the hotel. On the way I saw the Port and Old Town. Old Town looked pretty cool from afar with it's big walls and church spires.

Checked in at the Hotel Shnelli and was informed by the hot receptionist chick that my room-mates had already checked in and that I was sharing with two guys. This was not a problem to me and I thought myself lucky when she said   "Don't worry, they are good looking!"  Went to my room but was a bit confused when I could only find 2 beds. I hunted high and low and looked for some hidden door or a magic IKEA bed, but nothing. I went back downstairs and the girl told me that the sofa in the lounge room converted into a bed. Went back up and found the door to the room was opened. Walked in to find 5 strangers in my room. They immediately introduced themselves as fellow tourmates and 2 of the guys were of course my room mates.

As you do on tours, we all went through the introductions of; where you're from, how old, what you do and where you've been so far, that initiates you into a group and labels you all now friends. Nik, Gemma, John, Simon and Aaron all seemed normal and my fears of being the lone friendless intruder disappeared, so it was a good start to my part of the tour. They had all spent the last few days on another tour that was merging with a bigger tour which I was joining in the middle of. It's all very confusing.

Sat around chatting for a bit, then went downstairs to meet the other merging tour. Soon saw the bus pull up out the front and we visually interrogated them through the windows. My conclusion, a lot of chicks.

They filtered into reception and more introductions were made. Names went in one ear and out the other, but I did spot a few people who looked familiar from the messageboard on the Top Deck website. I eventually spotted Gavin who I'd also been talking to a bit on MSN before the tour, but the bastard didn't even recognise me. Shattered.

Went back to my room and had a long awaited shower. Gemma meanwhile found that she was sharing a room with a guy. Merv didn't really want to share with a girl, so I swapped with him and after flooding the boys bathroom I moved all my stuff to Gemmas room. I didn't feel so guilty about getting water everywhere in the other bathroom when we found that Merv had shaved his head in our bathroom and there was hair eeeeverywhere.

Back downstairs, we all met up to set out on a Old Town Walking Tour. Kobes, our Tour Leader led us through the cobblestoned streets and up to a pretty little Orthodox onion domed church. We had a look inside and then proceeded to a little lookout and were told about the adjacent palace and about Tallinn in general. I marvelled at Kobe's pronunciation of the word 'sword' (ss-word). Finished our walk down the maze of streets and into the vast Town Square.

We now had free time. Nik, Gemma and I walked around a bit and checked out some market stalls before stumbling on an old Dominican Monastery which looked quite quaint. Our entrance fee said it included a hand made Monastery medallion which was thought quite nice, but when we were given our medallion it was just a tiny copper piece with Nil Sans Deo written on it (not without God). Still, free souvenir.

Walked around the Monastery, which didn't really take long as it was quite small. We then checked out an artists gallery next door before heading back to the hotel to get ready for dinner.

Got all dressed up then as a group we went back to the Town Square area and to a nearby Beer Hall. To go with my stein of beer, we had great little appetizers in the form of fried strips of garlic bread and some fried cheese. For mains I got Bratwurst. It was a very healthy meal.

By the time we left the restaurant it was late evening. We walked outside to find that it was still quite light. As we were so high up there was a permanent state of dusk over night, bar an approx 1 hour period where it got a bit darker. A small group of us walked around town for a bit before going back to the hotel.

 

Monday 25th June 2007

Good breakfast before going out with Nik, Gemma and Lena. Lena suggested we got visit a park that was on the other side of the city. Couldn't think of anything else I wanted to do so we set off. Was quite a hike and took about 40 minutes to get there. I got excited when I saw a sign saying there were squirrels about, but alas, no fluffy rats on speed were sighted. Checked out a nearby palace before walking back into town after a quick stop off at the beach.

Found some markets and had a look around. Bought 2 pretty little watercolour paintings depicting the town.

At this point I left the others and found a deli to grab some lunch. Bought some very random food that I wasn't quite sure of what it actually was but it ended up being some pasta salad overly drenched in dressing, a pizza bun and some ham and cheese pancake wraps. Went to the park opposite the hotel and ate my lunch on the grass. Noticed a little sparrow eyeing off my pizza bun, so I held out a piece of it and it came and took it from my hand. A giant seagull then came along and after a bit of persuasion I got it to eat out of my hand as well. Sat in the sun for about an hour playing with the birdies, then went back to my room for a little arvo nap.

That night we went out to dinner at a traditional Estonian restaurant called The Peppersack. Tried some Pear Cider which was sooooo nice that I fear it's toppled Magners/Bulmers as my favourite alcoholic drink.  For dinner I had grilled beef and salad which was very nice. Had some entertainment in the form of a belly dancer (I did not know belly dancers were traditional in Estonia) and also a mock sword fight was carried out. A brief appearance was made by 'Death' who came in, got a beer and then walked out.

Wandered around afterwards trying to find a pub or bar but it was pretty dead. Made friends with random English guys outside a weird bar (their description, we didn't go in). Went back to the hotel and crashed.

 

Russia

St Petersburg, Russia - Tuesday 26th June 2007

Early start, then off to Russia!!

The Russian border wasn't far from Tallinn. We made it through the Estonian side pretty easily and for a moment I was deceived into thinking we'd crossed the border in record time. But then we came to the Russian side of the border. Here we had to get out of the bus and line up to get our Visa's stamped. At one point I was mucking around in line, just laughing and stuff, when a Russian guard seemingly levitated sideways from behind a car, glared at me and then disappeared. I shut up...momentarily. Until I got the giggles and had to stifle them for a bit. Inside, Doris stamped my passport and we congregated on the other side where Gemma held out toilet paper for us while we took a few squares and braved our way into the skanky urine covered toilets. A good tip was to roll your jeans up. Back outside and 3 hours later we were released!

We drove down the road for about half an hour thinking we were home-free when suddenly up ahead a police officer on the side of the road motioned for the bus to pull over. We did. Deans, our driver and Kobes got out and we could see them talking to the cop. They then walked across the road and went and sat in the cop car! But soon enough they came back. Apparently the cop said they had been speeding, but they hadn't. It was a measly fine of about $20au they had to pay and it was just easier to pay it than go through the hassle of trying to argue.

Another long drive ahead and we arrived at the St Petersburg outskirts at around 5pm. It took another hour or so to get through the traffic and to our hotel. First impressions of the city weren't the best. There was construction work everywhere and everything just looked dismal.

We headed into what seemed like the suburbs passing more dismal buildings. We came across a hotel that looked like a communist apartment and I laughed to myself about the suckers who had to stay at that hotel....... so call me a lollipop ... it was our hotel. The Hotel Karelia. To be fair, although it looked pretty crappy on the outside, inside was actually quite nice.

I was rooming with Naomi and Mel for the next three nights. We went and settled in. Poor Mel got stuck with the cot bed.

Went downstairs to have dinner in the hotels restaurant. We had our first taste of Borsch (a beetroot soup) along with a meaty dish and some vegetables, nothing outstanding. Most of us were pretty buggered by the long day and so went to bed after dinner.

A few went to the bar which turned out to be not such a good move. Poor Tony was getting a drink when a 'friendly' Russian came up to him and started chatting away. At one point he commented that he looked like a sportsman and started patting him on the stomach Pretending to be drunk he tried to give him some sort of wedgie. What he had really done was take his wallet and pass it to his mate who had come up behind him and was pretending to drag his 'drunk' friend away. Tony only found out once he'd gone back to the others and recounted his story about the odd Russian guy. Lost a bit of money too.

 

Wednesday 27th June 2007

Next morning we braved the geriatric crowds and grabbed some breakfast from the buffet table in the restaurant. Heard about Tony's previous nights drama before setting out for the day on the coach.

More than a few of us were hesitant about stepping outside of the bus, imagining a hoard of pickpockets descending upon our group and so I kept an eagle eye out for any dodgy people invading my personal space. We were pushed off into Decembrists Square to have a look at St Isaacs Cathedral, a monstrous domed creation that loomed over the square, a statue and a Palace. No mass vagrant attack took place but we were still on guard. Our local guide Olga told us to be aware of the stall people who had set up next to the statue and were selling souvenirs, all Made in China, she said.  After awhile Olga led a group to a money exchange place in the Astoria Hotel nearby. Claire, who had joined the tour the night before, and Lena were first in line. They received 3 x 1000 ruble notes but because a lot of places don't accept big notes, they asked for smaller notes. Suddenly 1000 rubles went missing as they were handed back 2000 rubles. The next half hour was spent with Olga translating for the exchange girl and trying to find out what happened. In the end the girl took 1000 rubles out of her own purse and gave it to them. Russia was getting off to a cracking start!

We then visited Vasilevskiy Island with its view of the Winter Palace across the Neva River. From here we went to the Peter & Paul Fortress on an island and to a church in the middle of it. On the way some of us got a photo with a bronze statue of an out of proportion Peter the Great.

In the afternoon we visited the Hermitage museum which is housed in the Winter Palace. Naomi and I skipped the last bit of Olga's tour and ran down to the gift shop to buy Fabergé pendants.

For dinner we went to the Moscow Hotel for a huge buffet meal. In their gift shop I spied Fabergé eggs for nearly 50% cheaper! So I bought 3 more haha.

From here we went to a folk show. I had quickly learnt that in Russia when you visit a tourist place and have to pay a photo fee (to be able to take photos), you just don't, because no one checks anyway. So I video'd lots of the performance which consisted of an Army choir and lots of dancing. My favourite song the choir sang was Kalinka hehe.

Back at the hotel a few of us walked up the road to a Deli. Here we delighted in funny Russian food. Gavin found a plastic 2L bottle of beer which was hilarious. I also bought some breakfast food as the breakfasts at the hotel were pretty crap. Got a great cherry frusche type thing.

 

Thursday 28th June 2007

No idea what we did this morning, but later on we headed out to a town called Pushkin to visit a palace of Catherine the Greats, called Tsarskoe Selo. It was a giant turquoise and white frosted cake...I mean Palace decorated with outlandish amounts of gold. It is famous for it's Amber Room which was stolen by the Nazi's and never recovered but was recreated by the Russian Government, taking them 20 years to finish it.  The Palace was actually quite cool with lots of interesting things to look at.

After here we went to Petershof Palace. We never even went inside as the main attraction here is its gardens and fountains. They were spectacular, even if I did get lost for about 40 minutes, but thankfully found the group again. Checked out all the trick fountains and numerous statues and memorials. The gardens were huge and you could easily spend a whole day there.

We headed back into town around 5pm and then went on a canal cruise. The Palaces lining the canals were very pretty but the highlight for me was checking out the hydrofoil boats zooming up the River.

Afterwards a group of us went out to dinner. Most of us ordered Beef Stroganoff and it took ages to get it. Had to run back to the bus that was waiting for us at the Hermitage.

 

St Petersburg & Novgorod, Russia - Friday 29th June 2007

Went to the Deli again this morning to get more breakfast. The hotel spread was starting to make me gag and the frusche thing was just really nice.

Dragged my luggage down to the bus and secured my 2 seats up the back. Some of the boys had gone out on the town the night before and those that weren't looking worse for wear, were missing! John, Aaron, Mick and oddly enough his sister Amanda were not on the bus. We waited a few minutes and John and Aaron stumbled their way out, dark sunglasses on.  But Mick and Amanda never came, so we had to leave without them.

We picked a new Russian guide called Tatijana who would be travelling with us all the way to Belarus. She was funnier than Olga, still odd, in that Russian way.

We made a pit stop at the Hermitage so that we could spend a last few hours in St Petersburg. Most of us decided to check out the Church of the Spilled Blood up close and more importantly, the markets across the road from it!

Checked the markets out first and taught Fiona a few tips on how to bargain. She was soon off head first! I bought some larger Fabergé eggs at 1400 rubles for both, though I made the girl throw in a free shot glass as well. Had a look at a few other things before bumping into Gavin who was actually still drunk for the previous nights antics. We walked around and he pointed out a gas mask he was interested in. With his state of mind currently not on the sharp side, I offered to bargain the gas mask for him. He agreed, so I started haggling with the guy and also bargained for a Navy hat that I wanted for my friend at home. Got the guy down to 650rb for both which was I was sort of happy with, but he wasn't budging any lower. I turned around and told Gav the price etc. He then decided that maybe he didn't want it anymore. The seller wasn't impressed so I just gave him 400rb for my hat only, for his trouble.

Went across the road to check out the church up close. Took lots of photos. The church is modelled on St Basils Cathedral in Moscow, so I took quite a few pics because St Basils is one of/if not my favourite Cathedral in the world. Nothing else looks anything like it.....well except Spilled Blood haha, but you know what I mean. 

Made our way back to the Hermitage, but our bus was not there. Thankfully Evana was there so we knew we hadn't been deserted. We got word that the bus was stuck in traffic so we waited by the side of the road. Meanwhile I watched a pigeon get absolutely demolished by a passing car. I then amused myself by waiting to see if other vehicles would obliterate its carcass haha. I'm sick.

Bus finally came and Mick and Amanda were on it. Mick had come home drunk and turned off Amandas phone/alarm and so they didn't wake up in time.

Before leaving St Petersburg we checked out an old monastery before hitting the open road. I found a kitty. I was happy.

It was then a comparatively short ride to Novgorod. Our hotel was on the outskirts of the city next to a derelict entertainment complex. Well, it looked deserted but upon closer inspection we found it was actually still in use.

Played footy in the car park for a bit, then checked in. I was sharing with another girl called Shelley and our room was right at the end of a big hallway.

I did some washing and then went downstairs to see what was happening. No one was down there but I found Amanda and Mick on the way back to my room. We decided to go check out the weird building next door and recruited Wendy and Jo along the way.

It was just such a WEIRD building. It was so eerily desolate, but then you'd poke your head around a corner or into the bush and find dodgy Russians, doing God knows what. Most seemed to be drinking or doing business out of the boot of their car. Odd.... very odd.  In a car park we found what was either a driving lesson or Russia's answer to the show Top Gear. A course had been set up with girls driving slalom through markers and doing all sorts of maneuvers, then racing back to the start.

With all the other dodgy Russians about we started to feel a little uneasy and went back to the hotel.

Had a quick driving tour of the city Kremlin and St Sophia's Church. Being a Friday there were lots of brides about. Apparently there are a lot of weddings in Russia on Fridays. It is also tradition for the newlyweds to go on a kind of sightseeing tour and be photographed at all the touristy places while still in their wedding gear. We saw about 3 or 4 different bridal groups wandering around.

Back at the hotel we found one of them was having their reception there which made getting to the restaurant for our dinner awkward as we walked through the weddings reception area.

Dinner was more Beef Stroganoff in quaint little pots. Afterwards we all headed to the downstairs bar.

It all started out very tame with people ordering mainly vodka mixers and sitting down for a chat. I had voiced my hopes for a 'big night' but in reality I expected it to fizzle out and everyone to go to bed early. I was wrong.

Mick found out that instead of buying one drink for 100rb, you could buy a whole bottle of vodka for 400rb. This is where it all started to disintegrate into drunken madness. He started handing around shot after shot and the group started getting louder and louder.

It was Gavins birthday but he had disappeared not long after we got to the bar. I shared my covert operative plan with a few others to kidnap him from his bed and force vodka down his throat. Although I'm glad I didn't because I heard later about the state he sleeps in haha. He soon came back down though after doing some washing, plan thwarted, though I still forced vodka down his throat. In a short amount of time he was as pissed as the rest of us.

Meanwhile I had channelled the spirit of some random Russian lady. I could not for the life of me stop talking like a Russian. At one point I had a sober thought that maybe me talking constantly in a Russian accent was annoying. I consciously made an effort to stop, but it didn't work! So the ENTIRE night was spent in Russian mode, even singing Russian songs such as Kalinka (which I only knew one word of, but that seemed to be enough hah).

Evana and I seemed to be on the same drunken level so we ran around drinking more vodka, singing and dancing.

A Russian chick who had been chain smoking in the corner had meanwhile joined the group and seemed to have taken a liking to Merv. Some of the guys tried to teach her 'the Kangaroo dance' and she seemed to be enjoying herself with us and particularly Merv. A few little other romances seemed to be going on which made for good entertainment.

Mick was now behind the bar with the surprisingly friendly barman. I say surprisingly as the Russians aren't really known for their customer service skills. This guy was really nice though. I came to the conclusion he had done a dark arts deal to receive a great personality and get a wonky eye in return.

I was amazed at how I was able to observe all these little things going on due to the state I was in. Numerous trips to the toilet after 'breaking the seal' did in fact confirm that I was indeed absolutely trashed. It's always the case when going to toilets after drinking that you realise this. It may have something to do with the fluorescent lights and quietness.

The bar closed....or we left, I don't remember which caused the other, all those who were left made their way back to the rooms. What was left of our group sounded like a migrating herd of wildebeest trampling down the hallway. We made so much noise.

Evana and I decided to race each other to the end of the hall. Once at my room I turned around and laughed at what looked like an apocalyptic riot. People were screaming, yelling, running and laughing. I spotted several non-tour persons popping their heads out of their doors to see what all the commotion was about. I laughed, then woke up Shelley to get back into my room before passing out on top of my bed.

 

Moscow, Russia - Saturday 30th June 2007

I woke up and lay on my bed in a vodka haze. 5 minutes later after not much brain activity I came to the conclusion that I was incredibly cold. I looked down and realised that I only had the paperthin bedspread over me. I lifted the cover and found a sheet neatly folded underneath me. Only then did I look over at my room mate, spy a blanket over her and then gazed around the room before finding a blanket in the corner. I crawled out to grab it before returning to the land of fermented potatoes.

Woke up shortly after, it was time to get up. Went to breakfast, dark sunnies in use. I skolled the glass of orange juice before picking at the food.

Got on the bus and went to my seat looking forward to just laying down in my usual weird sleeping position on my back with my legs crossed against the window to catch a few zzz's. Unfortunately seats were limited and so Wendy sat next to me.

It was a long drive to Moscow, although I did perk up when we played footy at our lunch stop.

Coming into Moscow I immediately liked it better than St Petersburg. It just seemed like it had more order. Traffic was still slow but not as bad. There weren't as many palatial houses or pretty canals but I just had a better feeling about this city, maybe I was just getting used to the dodginess.

Our hotel was one of 3 mammoth towers in a hotel complex with ours called Vega (on in Cyrillic, written Bega). It was very nice. Rooms were a bit meh, but still good. It was also conveniently situated between a metro station and some markets.

I roomed with a Yankee girl called Sam and after we checked in we all walked to a nearby 'Russialand' sort of theme park, for dinner. It was all very kitsch and touristy....and completely deserted. We were led to an upstairs banquet hall where we had a nice little chicken caesar salad. This was an end of the niceties as everything else that followed was nothing short of crap. Cold steak and soggy chips with dessert being an unidentifiably flavoured icecream. After cough medicine was suggested for taste, we settled on pistachio marzipan and once identified it was easier to swallow.

I left soon after to look for net. Fi and I had earlier found some, but after struggling to communicate with the girl there over closing times we had hoped to find another place. Unfortunately it was all closed.

I went upstairs to my room determined to catch up on some needed sleep.

I ran myself a bath and soaked my very sore feet in them. I was just about ready to kick back and relax, when Sam came in and told me everyone was in the bar. I quickly blowdried my hair and went down. I didn't want to miss out on any fun times!

Turned out to be a quiet night. We played pool and had a few drinks.

Went back up to my room and found Gavin in the room next doing some washing. Unfortunately the poor boy hadn't wrung his clothes properly and they were all still dripping wet. I played Mum and did it properly before going to my room, doing some washing of my own and going to bed.

 

Sunday 1st July 2007

Another day, another breakfast. Thankfully better than the previous ones. Eventually navigated my way through the buffet breakfast area (finally nice food!) They had cherry juice! That's one thing I love about Russia, they have lots cherry flavoured items (red's my favourite flavour! hehe).

We were put onto a locally hired bus and taken on a city tour.  Checked out Red Square first and saw my beloved St Basils Cathedral. Also in the Red Square were the Kremlin, the G.U.M store and Lenin's Mausoleum.

I was so annoyed though that Lenin's tomb was not open the following day. I had been looking forward to seeing his body in state, but the whole of today was spent doing city and metro tours and the Mausoleum was only open between 10am and 1pm. I was torn between going to see Lenin's waxy face or staying with the group. Sucked big time, but finally decided to be a sheep and follow the group. Wasn't happy though.

So back on the bus and off to see another church, a big memorial thing and a lookout that had a view of the city.

We then went on a Metro tour which was something I was looking forward to. All the Metro stations had been extravagantly decorated during Communist times and resembled more palaces and museums than public transport areas. They were really pretty.

Afterwards a group of us attempted to buy lunch in a Mall foodcourt. Most of us settled on the easy pointing option of pizza. We then split up and some of us headed for the Artillery Museum. I had seen this on The Great Outdoors and was looking forward to checking out all the big planes and destructive things.

We had a vague idea of where it was after half listening to Tatijana when she was giving directions. I assumed the others were listening. We set off and successfully made our way to the correct train station, but from there we were screwed. I recalled Tatijana using Vanessa is a compass and said to imagine she were a star, that we had to follow where Vanessa's right hand was. Not the best way to give directions. We headed to the right out of the station exit and walked down the road while constantly checking the map. After about 10 minutes we came to the conclusion that we were in fact lost. We then realised no one even had a map with the museum on it. It was then that some of the others managed to find an American guy who had been living in Russia for the past 15 years.

"Go down here, then shag left."

Riiiight. How you shag left is beyond me, but after committing his directions to memory we went down the street, somehow shagged left, crossed a park and hoorah! found the museum!

I had a quick look at the stuff inside, which was pretty impressive, but what I was here for was out back. Here stood a mass graveyard of old Soviet planes, helicopters, tanks, missile launchers and other things resembling weapons of mass destruction. It was absolutely awesome and my eyes grew wide in excitement as I ran around yelling "Ka-boom!" at anyone I knew. It just felt right.

Unfortunately back inside I broke my camera after shoving it in my pocket when the lens was still out. Dag nabbit!! Pissed off, but not deterred we all headed back to the tube station. Ended up at a different one but still made it back to Red Square before the designated time where we met the rest of the group.

Once everyone was accounted for, Tatijana led us to the ballet. It was a bit of a walk from the Metro station to the ballet. My feet, already overly sore were absolutely killing me by the time we got to the ballet (not in a 'ow my feet hurt' kind of way, but the 'oh dear, I think I've done permanent damage' kind of way'). So much so that I just went and sat in the garden while everyone had a looksie around.

Inside and in our seats, I was looking forward to seeing something good. But apart from one or two good dancers, the rest was crap. I spent most of the time trying not to fall asleep but my head kept on dropping and at one state I awoke with such a start that my sunglasses went flying. I was a bit embarrassed but during the intermission I found I wasn't the only one having trouble keeping awake. Gemma who was sitting next to me said she had trouble and Evana said she slept through the entire first half.  Was definitely not worth the money spent.

I can't remember where we had dinner that night (if anyone can, let me know!) Went back to the hotel and made an attempt at going to the bar that night but I was so buggered and not in the best mood so I had a bath and went to bed.

 

Monday 2nd July 2007

This morning we made our way back into town to visit the Kremlin. John, Amanda and I had to check-in our backpacks. A new guide, a former KGB person (well thats what he said), Michael, walked us to the bags area and I had a chat to him about Australia and stuff. Once inside we were split into two groups with Tatijana taking one and Michael the other. I went with good ol Mick hehe. We walked around and listened to him tell us about the buildings. At one point I spotted some construction and scaffolding up the side of a building. Up the top I spotted a big metal box. It was an ALIMAK! I was so excited. It was a smaller version of the type of lifts I operated while in the mines. I was excited and grabbed Nik to tell her.

Further on we saw a big bell with a big hole in it and lots of churches. Inside one, there were a bunch of monks and after we had a look around they assembled up the front and started chanting. It was pretty awesome and at the end we all just stood in silent amazement. Michael then said it would be ok to clap as he had obviously read everyones mind (some KGB trick), as we all start applauding loudly.

A few of us bought their CD that they were selling and they even autographed it. Entrepreneurial monks... how odd.  (I've ripped it and put the CD up on my site here)

It was then onto the Armoury. I was excited because I knew that this museum contained original Fabergé eggs!! I have always had a fascination with them and looked forward to seeing some for real!

Saw a lot of other cool things inside, including the dress of some anorexic princess (seriously, the waist was so tiny!), some interesting old carriages, some swords and armoury and lots of bejeweled items.

I can't remember what we did that afternoon, but we ended up at a local restaurant for dinner. More borsch. Then it was onto the circus!

It was not in a traditional tent but an actual building and inside you could get your photo taken with baby tigers and bears. The cuteness factor reached breaking point but it was still a little sad, I hope they are well looked after.

We got our seats and watched as poodles did handstands and bears fell in love with pretty girlies. It was actually really good. I quite enjoyed myself.

A few people went out that night, but I really needed sleep and so piked.

 

Smolensk, Russia - Tuesday 3rd July 2007

Our last day in Moscow. Not as much rush at breakfast this morning as we had the morning to ourselves.

Checked out the markets near the hotel and bought a bunch of Russian souvenirs. Got two fluffy hats, some war pins, a musical figurine of St Basils Cathedral and some Matryoshka dolls.

It was then back on the bus for another travel day. This time we were heading to a little town called Smolensk.

A few hours later and after our now standard roadside buffet lunch we came into the sleepy little town of Smolensk. We picked up a local tour guide and were taken around town, up a hill and to a little church up top. It was very pretty and there was a gorgeous view of the valley below. Went inside the church and watched a baby get tortured during it's Christening. The priest ran an instrument over the baby skin which was supposed to somehow scratch it and allow an oily substance or maybe holy water drip onto it. I'm scant on the actual details but the baby screamed like a little possessed devil.

I spotted a black Madonna which was pretty cool. Then went outside to enjoy some sunshine.

We were dropped off in town for a little free time. Went in search of a supermarket but it proved a bit hard to find. Found a really weird sort of department store that had no supermarket but there was a tiny stall that sold just balloons. On our bus, Gavin had been using a balloon, that he had received for his birthday which I had drawn a face on, as a pillow to rest his head on. Unfortunately it had seen much use and had slowly become smaller and smaller. So I bought him a balloon with a big smiley face on it. Then went a walking through a residential area. Thought I might have got myself lost but soon found my way back to where the bus was parked. 

Just outside of the town, in the countryside was our little motel. A very, very, dodgy looking motel situated next to some sort of truck yard. Getting off the bus a guy popped the boot to his car and showed us his wares for sale. Cigarettes and big bottles of vodka. Dodgy.

Checked in and went to our rooms. I roomed with Alicea. Settled in, checked out our lovely balcony and waved to our neighbours, then went downstairs to find people. Had a look through a gift shop, that was really just a stall selling bootlet cd's. Went back to my room for a bit before heading down for dinner. Afterwards most of us sat outside. I kicked the footy around for a bit by myself before Mick came and we kicked it around the car park. The boys had a few drinks before all heading back into town to find some nightlife. They caught a lift in with some dodgy locals and part of me wondered if I'd see them again.

I stayed around helping Evana cook the following days lunch and hanging out with some of the others. Was in bed before midnight though.

 

Belarus

Minsk, Belarus - Wednesday 4th July 2007

Another early start and it was time to say goodbye to Russia and hello to Belarus!

Made it over the border in reasonable time, apparently with the help of another bribe.

Coming into Minsk, I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't the backwater Communist wasteland I had imagined it to be. It was actually very clean and tidy and showed some sort of order to the place. Lots of pretty green parks and nice buildings.

Went straight to the hotel, which was actually nice, we checked in then it was quickly back out into town. Were dropped off and some of us checked out the war museum. It was very good, even though everything was in Russian. A lot of the photos said a thousand words and were very sad.

Checked out a little market next door and found some gorgeous traditional dolls but I had no Belarusian rubles on me so I couldn't get them. Went off in search of an ATM and found one up the road. Came back, bought too gorgeous dolls, then found Shelley and Tracey and went with them to check out the G.U.M. store. I was expecting something similar to its expensive Moscow counterpart but unfortunately found a store similar to the weird shopping mall I found in Smolensk. Checked it out anyway and found Naomi. We went and bought some ties for the crossdressing party coming up. We also got some funny Belarusian passport covers. I also bought some random birthday cards, after selecting cards based on their look and then finding out from the cashier they were for husbands, sons and bosses, I changed them to more normal ones. Still don't know what they said though.

Downstairs, time was running out for me to find a Belarusian shot glass to add to my collection. I spotted a small wooden laquer cup in a display and so I bought it. The lady, in her broken English, said it was an egg cup. Sorry, it's a shot glass now lady.

Headed back to the pick up point to go back to the hotel. Had dinner in the hotel soon after and then checked out the supermarket next door. We had to use up the rest of our Belarussian rubles at the supermarket. It was craaazy in there and I felt like a contestant on the Price is Right running around trying to find stuff to make up the 30000 rubles I had left over (you cant change rubles outside of Belarus...apparently). The amount of people queuing up was insane and I came out with a headache. I pity Evana who had to go in and buy the tours food later on.
 

 

Poland

Warsaw, Poland - Thursday 5th July 2007

Up very early, picked up a breakfast & lunch pack from Evana for the bus ride and settled back in for a sleep. After playing the Price is Right again at a petrol station along the way in which lots of cheap beer was bought, we reached the campsite by evening and settled into our cabins. I was relieved to find they had blankets as I had taken the risk and not brought a sleeping bag as I would have had to carry it around for a month, and only use it for these two nights in Warsaw.

Some of us walked up the road to a Mall to check it out. Went in search of some Internet and after searching one mall we found some computers in a book store in the Mall on the opposite side of the road. Tim, Anthony and I then went into Carrefour to buy some very cheap vodka. Cheapest was about $5au and Smirnoff was about $8au a bottle. Got about 5 bottles between us, unfortunately on the way back to the campsite, I had ended up carrying 4 bottles and the bag broke on one, with a bottle smashing to the ground. The other I saved with a quick flick of the hand as I saw what was happening.

Back at camp we had dinner and sat around in the misting rain. Attempted a party with our bottles of vodka but I ended up giving most of my two bottles away. Chatted away with the girls, then went to bed and crashed.

 

Friday 6th July 2007

Started off the day with a campsite breakfast before heading into town. Weather still wasn't the best but set the mood nicely for our visit to Pawiak Prison. Checked out the museum while we were being moved around by the pushy but friendly guide.

Afterwards Kobes showed us around some Jewish Memorial sites before we were dropped off in town for some free time. Because I'd been here before, I played tour guide and lead the way to the Old Town. Made our way to the Square. Along the way I saw a drunk homeless guy stumble over and smash his head on the cobblestones. Mick ran over and helped him up but he was in no state for walking so he eventually sat himself down on the kerb. He must've had a big headache though. It was a very loud crack when he came down!

Took a group of people to a Perrogie's place I'd been to last year. We crammed 6 of us into a corner and ordered about 10 plates of Perrogies - little Polish dumplings with various fillings. Oh god they were good. Mick, being from a Polish background, was in heaven and couldn't get enough of them.

Afterwards we went to the War Museum and most of us went inside to have a look. I'd only really checked out the film they showed last time I were here, so this time I looked around the museum. It went on forever!! I don't know how they packed so much into what seemed like a small townhouse from the front. At least 5 floors of stuff to check out.

From here people went their separate ways and I ended up bumping into Gavin, John and Matt walking down the streets. They mentioned markets nearby and my ears pricked up. Went looking for them but alas they could not be found. Instead we went for a walk around town. Ended up in a second hand shop we had seen on the bus earlier. There was some brilliantly tacky stuff inside from hot pink mesh tops to girly tops with the words 'juicy' on it. I picked up a very 80's looking mens shirt for the party that night. Walked around in the rain some more before stopping in a Gloria Jeans for a hot drink. Lots of pretty Polish girls were around and John and I struck up a very weird but indepth conversation about starting a new tour business aimed at the horny male market. We brainstormed and came up with some good ideas until Gavin ruined our fun by bringing legalities into it.

Showed the guys the club next door where I hoped to take them that night. I had visited it last year and had an awesome time.

From here we went and checked out the big Communist looking building in the middle of town. It was actually the Palace of Culture or something, but looked pretty dominating to me. It's actually the fourth tallest building in Europe. We went up the top and took in the misty grey view. On the way down we found ourselves in a Communications Exhibition. There was one display that was about radios. So John and Gavin hopped in and started mucking around. They started singing and the whole room outside the 'studio' could hear them "Loooving yooou, is easy cause you're beautiful. do-et-do-et-do-do Aaaaaayeeeeeeeee" It was pretty damn funny.

Next to it was a TV display so John turned weatherman and played in front of the camera.

Continued on our way and into a huuge marquee that looked like it housed a strippers exhibition but was actually some sort of markets. We wandered around and the boys looked at all the pretty dresses. It was quite disturbing. Finally found an exit and started heading back to the bus pickup area.

Stopped by the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and watched the soldiers march around a bit.

By this stage we were pretty hungry and decided to grab a feed. I was happy with whatever was closest so I could get out of the rain. That happened to be a Mongolian restaurant. Gavin didn't look too happy with the choice though so I ended up going with him while John and Matt stayed for some Mongolian hotpot in the basement. Gav and I went in search of something cheaper and headed towards a KFC sign. Passed a really cool building along the way that was riddled with bullet holes and was obviously damaged from the war. It was awesome. Had a d&m over some chicken before heading back to the bus area.

Back at the campsite I watched as all the boys ran around getting all dressed up. I checked out the cabin next door and found Tim and Tony squeezing into some pretty dresses and skirts. They looked hilarious. I went back to my cabin and grabbed my makeup bag and some jewelry. Went back and made Tim look pretty with some metallic green eyeshadow and lots of blush. One of my necklaces completed the look. Tony wouldn't let me touch him with the makeup but allowed a necklace.

"Tony, can I put some makeup on you?"

"No"

"Ok... here, have some of my vodka" *waits* "so can I put makeup on you?"

"No"

"Here, have another shot of vodka" *waits* "just let me put a bit on, just some eyeshadow and blush" I say,

"No"

*passes him the vodka bottle*

"cmon, just some eyeshadow then?"

"No"

This went on for about 10 minutes, but no matter how much of my vodka he drank, he still wouldn't let me put any makeup on him. But they did look very pretty though, especially Tammy as Tim was now known as.

Went around checking out the others then figured I should get dressed up. So I went back to my cabin and attacked my face and chest with black mascara. My cap that I'd bought in London completed my manly transformation and I ran over to the party cabin. Apparently I looked pretty 'good' judging by the reactions I got. Back outside I found Simon in another cabin getting some makeup put on, but he had nothing to wear. I quickly ran to my backpack and pulled out a top I'd bought in London but had never worn because it resembled a maternity top with sequins, but it looked lovely on Simon. Add a couple of balloons and he was soon Simone!

Back in the party cabin, punch was being handed around by a very testosterone filled Evana. The boys were constantly distracted by their own balloon boobs and would run around giggling and pinching each others 'nipples'.

I had meanwhile been renamed Farouk and suddenly I became very loud and boisterous. "I put bomb under your house" became my catchphrase of the night, just like Farouk out of the movie The Castle.

Things disintegrated into drunken madness. Thankfully I had my video camera and filmed quite a bit of it all.

Eventually noise complaints came in and the party dwindled. We went outside and made friends with the weird Belgian/French guys nearby. Then it was time to hit the town!! I was covered in mascara though, but fortunately Bel ran and grabbed some makeup remover and with our powers combined I soon returned to my former girliness. Simon however was a bit oblivious to the fact his face was full of makeup, and headed out all done up.

We went to the pub up the road but it was dead and we left straight away. Conveniently out the front were two taxis, so we piled in and I directed them to the Underground club in town.

A few people were very drunk by this stage and I was just about to head into the club when I realised someone was missing. The others went in while I went searching. I soon found a very sick boy outside McDonalds revisiting the nights punch. *edit* *edit* *edit* 15 minutes later I then reminded said boy to act as sober as possible as we passed the bouncers on the door. Made it in without any problem and received our UV stamps on our wrists.

Inside I went straight to the bar for a Desperado and a water for the more sickly of the bunch. Two of the group had gone off for a bit of 'together time' while the rest of us partied it up on the dancefloor. It was great!

Watched as Gavin was harassed by a Grandma while we all stood around and laughed. Slowly people left until it was just a few of us left. After much dancing and fun we took a taxi back to the campsite.

*edit *edit* *stumble* *edit* *d&m* *edit* and everyone was soon in bed... or in their cabins teabagging those passed out.  niiiiice.

 

Germany

Berlin, Germany - Saturday 7th July 2007

A very average morning for most of us. Quick breakfast then back on the bus for more sleep. Embarrassing stories from the night before were recalled. Some things you'd just prefer to forget really.

Over the course of the day, my body, through lack of immune system due to the night before, started to get very sick. By the time we were in Berlin I was feeling very crook indeed.

It did not help at all that we were given rooms in the hostel that were on the fourth floor.... with no lift. Not happy Jan.

I had such a high fever by this stage that I had to sit outside in my T-shirt in what normal people would deem freezing cold, just to cool off.

Had Pizza for dinner that night. I really, really, really wanted to go out that night, especially since it was technically the last night of the tour. But I was just too sick and so I stayed in and slept. It was pretty bad.

 

Sunday 8th July 2007

It was a quiet breakfast this morning as everyone realised it was the last day of tour and that goodbyes were imminent. Met up with some others in the foyer and said the first of the goodbyes. Went to my room to grab something but when I came back most people were gone. Dragged my bags to Naomi and Mels room until I could check into another room with John and Gil in the afternoon. I then nerded it up on the net. Ended up heading into town with John, Gav and Matt. Walked around for a bit. Went to Checkpoint Charlie. Then walked along and I found the Bugatti Showroom! I was so excited because I had missed out on seeing it last year. So this time I got to drool on the Bugatti Veyron that I knew would be inside. It's the fastest production car in the world at 407kmph. It was so sexy!

Afterwards we decided to go to the movies. Unfortunately Transformers was not out in Germany yet, even though it had been out in Australia for a few weeks already. We ended up seeing Shrek 3 instead after grabbing some burgers at an American style diner.

Headed back to the hostel as it was time for Gavin to go catch his plane. Said more goodbyes, then bumped into some of the other people we knew. We all decided that the people who were left would all go out for dinner that night. Vanessa recommended the Löwenbräu Beer Hall. We headed to our rooms to spruce up then met back in the foyer. Caught a few trains and we were soon there. There weren't many people in the place so we were given excellent service by a slightly eccentric waiter. I ordered a Berliner Weisse beer but somehow ended up with two. A few people didn't know what to make of it so I passed the spare one around for people to try. It's basically beer with raspberry syrup in it, I think I converted a few people.

Naomi and I looked at the menu and decided to make right pigs of ourselves. We ordered the meat tasting plate and when they brought out two big warming plates we knew we were probably in over our heads. The actual meal was huuuge and consisted of an assortment of sausages, slabs of pork, crackling, dumplings and a few potato things. We were soon handing pieces off left and right and slowly managed to make the meaty behemoth disappear.

Earlier before I had grabbed a coaster and sent it around the table for everyone to sign as a bit of a momento. This proved to be a popular souvenir so we soon had 17 coasters floating around for everyone to sign.

The waiter brought out an Oktoberfest hat for us to play with and lots of silly photos were taken.

We thought about going out again, but most of us headed back to the hostel. I think a few went to a bar nearby. I was still sick so went and got some rest as I had a flight to catch early the next day.

Said most of my goodbyes now as I would only be seeing John and Gil again back in the room I was sharing with them.

Goodbyes suck.

 

Monday 9th July, 2007

Woke up early and sorted out all my stuff. Had organised most things before I went to bed the night before, but I still managed to wake John up. Said the last of my goodbyes and headed off out into the cold.

Took an educated guess as to which train I had to jump on and thankfully got it right. Was soon back at Schönefeld Airport. Had not been here in nearly a year but still remembered my way around.

Checked in easily and went to grab some breakfast. Then hopped on my plane to Dublin, Ireland

Tour definately over now and I was very sad to see the end of it. Made so many good friends and hope to keep in touch with everyone.

Had a great trip and think it may have even been the best one out of my 3 trips to Europe so far.